Sat here on Easter Sunday 2009 (of all days) I realised that despite the fact i've been "dieting" since the middle of September last year I am a measly 7lbs lighter now than I was then. Then truffling round on Facebook and found a friends link to her "blog myself thin". Decided swiftly to jump on the band wagon and here I am.
I'm 28 years old, 29 in July, single (no huge suprise there) and weigh in at 19st 8lbs. I'm never going to be thin... I like food too much... and to be honest i'm not totally sure that I want to be! I would however like to be slimmer, fitter, healthier and to regain my old confidence. I used to walk into a room and wait for everyone to look at me (must add that i know most of the guys were looking at my cleavage). Now I sidle in quietly, self confidence left at the door, slide along a wall and find a corner to hide in. Scary thing is i've convinced myself that this isn't a problem.
My problem is that I always have an excuse! I know that a lot of people out there are the same but in all seriousness i've turned it into an art form! "I'm not well, chocolate will make me better" "I'm depressed, i'll treat myself" "I'm happy, we'll celebrate with food"! My latest is... "I'm a bridesmaid in November this year and I only need to be a stone lighter to make my dress look fabulous. So I don't wanna lose too much weight or it won't fit." Let's face facts though. I'm a curvy girl and always have been so my boobs will probably still fill the dress no matter how much weight I lose. If they don't there are these things called seamstresses I believe. Think they alter dresses so they fit... and i'd be able to get a good strapless bra that actually fits :) The possibilities for my excuses really are endless. So, no more excuses. The fact is that happy or sad, ill or well, mourning or celebrating i'm still fat and will continue to be so, unless I do something about it.
For the moment at least my goal is 15st. That's what I weighed when I met the last guy who made my knees go weak. If I could achieve that in time to go shopping for some new clothes to wear on my holiday with my wonderful Mum that would be awesome. Thing is I need, quite frankly, repeated kicks up the backside to help me. My friends are wonderful at this but I can't make them watch me 24/7! Mum and I fly out on the 10th of July so time's running out!
I'm going to try and put on here, consisely most of the time, my weight (and possibly BMI), whether i've been good or bad and my level of exercise. What i'm asking anyone I can convince to follow me is if you think i'm doing well, tell me! If you think i'm doing badly, tell me! LOL. Most of all though i'm asking you to call me out on my BS! Tell me if i make anything that sounds even remotely like an excuse and be my heroes!
Last thought of the blog... If I cut out all the rubbish and do this properly i'm probably going to lose weight quite fast initially and the last thing I need is anyone who thinks that they're a "diet expert" telling me i'm losing weight too fast. I know if I lose more than a couple of pounds a week it's supposed to be bad for me. My question in return is... when you're classed as morbidly obese does that really matter? I know that losing weight too quickly can lead to a weight rebound. I know that I could not be getting enough of what my body needs to sustain itself. I know I've got to come to terms with the fact that i'm probably going to end up with unsightly leftover skin. But the ultimate truth is that anything I do half-heartedly I fail at. So, vitamin tablets and bio oil in my hands i'm gonna take a run up and.....
TO BE CONTINUED... :)
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