New scales, new weight!

I went out and invested in some body fat monitor scales today. Mine tried to tell me I weighed everything between 20st and 19st10lbs so I decided it was time for an upgrade! These new fangled ones do my weight (with points of lbs and everything), body fat and water. As you can guess my body fat is scary to say the least. 71.5% scary, it's supposed to be 30% max! Also interestingly my water levels are way down so I obviously need to drink lots more than I do! They measure it by sending a tiny electric impulse through your body. Apparently fat and water react differently to the impulse and so it can read it.

So i'm weighing in at 19.13.4 ( a whole extra digit)
Fat is 71.5%
Water is 34.1%

It'll be good to keep track of it and see how much fat i'm dropping. Also if I don't lose weight but do lose fat then i'll know i'm building muscle tone. Same if my weight goes up but so does my water I won't be quite so gutted!

All in all it's good fun!

TTFN
xxx

10 days in...

I'm counting this leg of my weight loss journey from 30/11/2009 as that's when I saw the doc and started taking the tablets. So far so good. In 10 days i have lost 10 lbs. Not too shabby huh?

I'm not really sure what it is, i think i'm subconsciously making slightly more healthy decisions, although i have eaten out 3 times and had 2 takeaways in those 10 days! That's normally a recipe for disaster!

I'm stopping eating when i'm full (well within a few mouthfuls anyway), choosing things that are slightly lower in fat, i'm eating a low fat cereal with skimmed milk for breakfast everyday and have replaced the full fat margarine and mayonnaise in my fridge with the extra light versions. The great thing is i'm not feeling hungry all the time.

If i want to eat i'm having a small bowl of rice krispies or tinned fruit on a meringue nest instead of chips, crisps or chocolate. Still high in calories but with a none existent fat content. So no tablet needed. Some days i'm actually only taking one tablet because my other meals have such low fat content.

Roll on my first stone gone! :)

TTFN
xxx

Doctors and Hypnotherapists

Well, it's been a while again. I thought about blogging several times last week but I kept putting it off because there were some things in the pipeline and it seemed silly to blog before them, when I had nothing to say!

On Monday I went to see my doctor to ask about help with weight loss. I didn't get the help I wanted but she has put me on to some tablets that are supposed to help. They absorb 30% of the fat that you eat and release an enzyme that helps to break down fat cells. As you can imagine there are some nasty side effects if you eat too much fat... It has to go somewhere...

Luckily I've been good so far and haven't had any side effects at all. That may be because I instantly put myself on a low fat diet though. I think, personally, this is why it works! Lol.

I also saw a Hypnotherapist this week. Despite not being entirely sure I believed it could work. Stage 1 of possibly 3 sessions depending on how it all goes! It was an interesting experience. I was totally aware of everything going on but am honestly not sure I could have opened my eyes until Annabel told me too, even if the building caught fire!

The point of this session was to try and identify the reason I overeat and why food has such a strong hold on me. Why I see it as my supporting crutch!

The results were both predictable and interesting. There were 2 strong ideas. One was being bullied and looking for control and the other was an incident in my childhood that meant I ate secretly. An incident I had no real memory off until Wednesday. Annabel also "implanted" some ideas to help me cut my ties with food. So far, so good but it'll be a while before we can tell if it's coincidence. I feel more in control now I have an idea why I do what I do.

If I do decide to go back the next step would be putting a type of portion control in my subconcious so I feel I have to have smaller meals. Or there is aversion but that can be tricky. I can't wait to see if it's long term or not... Watch this space!

TTFN
xxx

Pain and exercise just don't mix

I had to cancel my gym meeting on Friday. I've been really under the weather. Possibly didn't give myself enough time to get over all the stress and tiredness after my friends wedding at the beginning of the month. Maybe I should have given myself a couple of weeks before getting in to the exercise again.

It's not been helped by my back pain. It wakes me up every hour or so through the night and I can only stay in bed for about 5 hours at a time. By then the pain is so bad I have to get up and sit on the sofa for a hour or two while my back un-kinks and the pain eases. As i'm an 8 hours a night girl it just means i'm exhausted. Saturday and Sunday i was up at about 5am and back in bed by 9am! So I got my 8 hours sleep but in 2 broken chunks which just doesn't seem to be as effective.

This morning however I am trying to stay awake long enough to make it to aquafit at 9am. So not feeling the love but I need to do it. I've got my first Wobbly Workout tonight too so I may try and get a couple of hours sleep before it.

At least it's only a week until my doctors appointment and 3 weeks until I see my arthritis consultant so hopefully i'll be fixed soon. :)

TTNF
xxx

Ouchy!

That kinda sums it up really...

Incredibly painful hips today. So bad in fact that i've had to cancel pilates and swimming tomorrow as i'm really not sure i'm going to be able to walk by then. Not amused!

So all in all not a positive day.

TTFN
xxx

The Start Of Aquafit

First day of many hopefully. Although it hurt like crazy. Had a nice chat with the lady who took the course today, Kathy, and she's suggested wearing socks to make it a bit easier on me. Because of my size I'm very buoyant so have major problems keeping my feet on the floor which means i have to work harder. The socks should at least stop my feet from slipping on the tiles so I won't hurt myself, even if I can only keep my toes on the floor. On the plus side we now know that i'll never drown... :)

Kathy also suggested trying the deep water aquafit because it's harder but the moves aren't as repetitive so I might not hurt so much. Either way i've booked in for the Thursday class to find out. I've also booked myself in for Pilates on Wednesday and a class called Wobbly Workout for next Monday. Wobbly Workout sounds like good fun, it's a gym ball class so no impact and good core muscle workout. Fingers crossed we'll find a good balance of stuff I can do.

I'm also thinking about asking for the wii fit plus for christmas as it's supposed to have many more balance games on it and they strengthen your core, which in turn should ease my back pain.

The exercise has one other bonus which is that it's making me hurt so much I don't want to get up to get food... A whole new way of dieting! :)

That's all my news for now so...

TTFN

xxx

The Longest Day Ever!

Today has gone on for at least a year! Seriously!

Has anyone else noticed just how difficult it is not to eat when you're bored?

I'm quite looking forward to aquafit in the morning, although i'm guessing it's gonna hurt like crazy. Hopefully it won't and then i'll find it easier to keep my motivation going. I'm also hoping that seeing as far fewer people worry about their weight in winter it'll be a nice quiet class. Nothing worse than having to try and fight for a bit of the pool where you can keep your feet on the floor.

I'm also hoping that i'll get a chance for a quick soak in the jacuzzi afterwards because I think the hot water might help ease my joints. You never know! :)

Anyway i'm keeping it short and sweet until I actually have something to report.

Until we meet again...

xxx

Attempt Number 4,978!

So I'm back and blogging, possibly.

Looking at my diary I should weigh about 14 stone by now, if i'd stuck to the plan. However as you can probably guess I didn't and i'm weighing in at 20.1. Not a good thing.

I went swimming for the first time in months yesterday. It doesn't seem to go particularly well with my arthritis and my knees and ankles were complaining afterwards but painkillers saw me through it. My friend and I only managed to do about 10 lengths before I started to hurt but I'm hoping that i'll get another couple done every time I go.

I've also booked in to see the nice man in the gym on friday to talk options for workouts that won't make me worse. I'm guessing that cycling and rowing are out as the repetitive motion has gotta hurt. My gym minded friend and I think that walking slowly at a high incline and few reps at high weight on the other stuff is probably the way forward.

Either way with that and swimming a couple of times a week and aquafit once a week hopefully i'll be feeling fitter soon.

That's the general plan. I'm not going to think too much about my weight, although I am going to see the doctor to see if I can get any help or support from them, just try and raise my fitness levels and in theory watch my weight fall.

Maybe this time will be the success story...

TTFN xxx

Night Night All!

It's 2am and I'm about to start my nightly attempts to sleep. Fingers crossed tonight it'll go better. I got to sleep about 8am and didn't get up til 2pm so this may not work. If it doesn't I may have to officially declare myself nocturnal.

I have had a fairly good day with food today. Breakfast was an belgian bun left over from my bakers run yesterday. Lunch was a chicken hotpot and dinner a bowl of soup with bread. I also ate about half the carrot cake (not all at, once I must add). Sounds terrible I know which may put into perspective how badly I'd been eating!

Still eating smaller meals, even if they're more regular and not always healthy has to be better than eating big meals and still needing to eat in between to stop myself feeling poorly.

That's about the extent of my blogging ability today as I'm, happily, exhausted!

TTFN

xxx

I started well...

...with a slimfast in fact!

Managed to get about 4 hours sleep in the end. Not that great. So it's 10.40 and i'm writing this in bed with the intention (or hope) of being full of working painkillers, pain free and fast asleep within moments if pressing "post"! In fact I wouldn't even complain if I fell asleep mid-blog.

Today has been "one of those days". I went out about 12 to see a friend about making a wedding cake for the wedding I'm a bridesmaid at in November. My first solo expedition into the big wide world since all this started. That didn't really bode well for a good lunch after my well behaved breakfast. I had 2 packs of nik-naks. D'oh! Then went to the bakery on the way home for a loaf of bread and ended up with cream cakes and a carrot cake (only a little one) because they were selling them off at the end of the day and everyone loves a bargain, right? On the plus side I now have 4 loaves of bread and a bag of rolls in my freezer so no need to go back to the bakery for a while.

As I was having such an incredibly successful day I had an incredibly sensible dinner. Lasagne and a bucket load of chips no less.

(Salad? What is this mythical salad? Do I win the worst start of diet dinner award? Is there an award? Does it come with a prize? Is it a cream cake? Oh. Not a cream cake, huh? In that case I don't mind if I win or not.)

What a waste of a slimfast huh? But I suppose at least I tried.

I need to come up with something filling but not particularly tasty that I can carry round with me for when I feel poorly. Almost as ballast. All suggestions considered. Failing that I'll apply my fiendish mind to the matter. In a few years I may have a solution!

I hadn't really intended to start dieting again when I started blogging again last night. It was more to do with a sudden desire to get everything off my chest and maybe find a way to shift enough of the pressure for me to be able to breathe. But I started the day with the right idea so tomorrow my plan is to start right and make it last a little longer than today. Eventually I may manage a whole day.

I'll start as I mean to go on, then maybe go on as I did at the start.

TTFN

xxx

Hello, stranger!

It's been one hell of a month. I don't even know where to start. I'm sat writing this on my phone at quarter past 3 in the morning after finally giving up on sleep. I've been lying down in bed for 4 hours in the vain hope that eventually my eyes would close. I'm blaming it on the steroids. Although I don't remember ever having the problem before, but then until now I've always been ill in a more classic sense when I've had to take them. This time it's "reactive arthritis", we think. So far it's been 4 weeks of pain. I can honestly say I have no idea how people cope with the pain of arthritis and don't go to see a doctor. OK, most people don't get full blown arthritis in 48 hours but OH MY GOODNESS! THE PAIN! It started with slightly sore ankles and 2 days later standing up felt like someone was driving daggers into my joints. Big ones. With added spikes. After nearly a fortnight of daggers (in toes, ankles, knees, hips, spine, shoulders, elbows, wrists and fingers) I got given steroids, which seemed to be working miracles at first but now they're only dulling the pain, and pain killers which are "one down from morphine" which seem to do about the same as paracetemol. Unfortunately because of the asthma I can't take anti-inflammatories which would have been the best short term solution. So I'm waiting as patiently as possible for next Thursday when I get to see the arthritis/rheumatism people at the hospital and find out what the prognosis is. Fingers crossed it'll be a good one.

For now however it's messing me up. I'm only really moving when I have to, so no gym obviously, I'm starving hungry all the time, my favourite side effect of my beloved steroids, and feel stupidly sick if I don't eat. So 3 am and all I can think about is the microwavable lasagne in my freezer. I'm resisting, and feeling more poorly by the minute for it.

I spoke to one of the people I value most a few weeks ago and they asked me how my blog was going as they hadn't had a chance to check in for a while and I was forced to admit that it wasn't going at all. So as I lay awake reminiscing I thought "OK, life ain't that great, let's try writing about it" and to make it more fun I downloaded an application for my iPhone. Now I can blog from anywhere. So no excuses (again, we all know how well that went last time). :)

I suppose seeing as I named my blog "flab to fab" I'd better talk about the transition between the two. As you can probably guess I'm heading rapidly in the wrong direction. I'm obviously not going to go get weighed at this time in the morning so I'll give you the closest I've got. 2 days ago I weighed in at 20st 3lbs. My heaviest ever. By 3 lbs. And in 2 months I have to get in a bridesmaids dress. Not my proudest moment ever.

What I'm having trouble with is finding a solution to the problem. If I could exercise then the fact I need to eat more regularly so i don't feel ill all the time wouldn't be a problem and visa versa. But as anyone with half a brain can tell you if you cut your exercise and increase your calorie intake nothing in the world is going to stop you gaining weight. The doctors have said they'll look into helping me when the arthritis is dealt with but I'm not sure that's what I want, if they even ever get round to it.

So here I am, about to swing on the trapeze, with no idea if my partner can catch me (or even if I have one) and without the use of a safety net! I'll let you know what the ground is like when I work out how to safely get my feet back on it.

My parting shot is just to say thank you to my Mum who dropped everything to come and look after me when I couldn't look after myself and to Ray for what he had to take on. Without them this awful ordeal would have been a hundred times worse.

TTFN

xxx

Put it on but have lost it again

I'm blaming it on the amount of water i'm trying to drink. 8 pints a day take a LOT of time to drink! I don't think i've quite got there yet but i'm probably closer to 8 than I ever have been before. Strange thing is that my skin feels different, don't know if that's a random coincidence.

Anyway i'm back at 18.11 today after going back up to 19 yesterday as i raised my water intake. Lets see if it helps!

TTFN

xxx

Hopefully starting as I mean to go on

I'm down to 18.11 this morning. Making a valid effort to drink water and really not doing that well, i'm too cold! Did well on the diet yesterday though and a good start today. So i'll be 18st by the end of the week! I wish! :)

Seem to have lost my desire to waffle on so...

The End

xxx

I'm 29! Scary huh?

After my last blog I went and hid under a rock, well ok, not exactly. More like I couldn't be bothered to diet and blogging would have meant I had to deal with that.

I actually managed to put on half a stone. But somehow, no idea how, Mum and I both managed to lose weight on holiday. We're guessing it might be something to do with the amount of water we drank. So we're both gonna try to up our water intake. I'm also trying to get back on the diet. I've been fairly good today although i'm starving as we did eat well while we were away.

So here I am, back at 19st, trying for the 1,000th time to make this work... Fingers crossed huh?

TTFN

xxx

Morning

Yesterday didn't go well. Pippin was very ill and I didn't want to leave him during the day. Then after rushing him to the vets the last thing I felt up to was going out to do my food shopping. So I ordered take away, again.

However, unfortunately (or possibly fortunately), I think my dinner wasn't cooked properly as i've been rather poorly. It should help me get back on the diet though. Hopefully it will also put me off takeaways for a while... :)

My weigh in this morning puts me at 19st and I really want to be 18st at the most by the holiday in 2 and a half weeks. My goals have changed a little though, now the plan is for me to be fitter no matter how much I weigh. Tenerife is going to be HOT and we'll be wanting to do lots of exploring walking and the last thing I want to do is be complaining that i'm tired. Fingers crossed I won't be poorly for much longer so I can get myself to the gym and on the treadmill.

TTFN

xxx

No Success But No Failure Either

I've been really bad about what i've been eating but the increase in exercise seems to be stopping me from putting anything on. Which I thoroughly approve of! :)

It's also a really good omen for the future because now I can see hope for me to be able to go back to enjoying food, in moderation, when i've reached my target! Yay!

Today i'm going to try and get back to being really good so hopefully i'll start seeing the weight falling off again tomorrow.

TTFN

xxx

I got the part!

Last night was the final "auditions" for my am. dram. group and I got the part I wanted! Now I have another reason to slim! :)

I had lunch out with Mum and Verity yesterday but was good for the rest of the day and have stayed the same. I'm back down to 19.2 now.

I'm afraid this is going to be fairly short and sweet today as I want to get up and off to the gym fairly soon as i've been really bad about going this week. 

So i'll say TTFN!

xxx

Mum's here...

And it's going ok. The weight seems to have started moving again which is good.

That's it for today!

xxx

Slimfasts Are Go!

I'm back... Well so far today... But trying to do the eating 5 times a day thing that Stuart at the gym suggested. Apparently every time you eat you raise your metabolism a little. The same applies with exercise. So to lose the most at the fastest "healthy" rate possible I need to be totally focussed. Gulp. That'll be me trying to break the habit of a lifetime then!

The diet and exercise all went a bit wrong yesterday, my friend Victoria treated me to lunch and then we had take out in the evening and the most exercise I did was drumming on guitar hero! D'oh. As you can probably guess I put on another pound.

So here's the honesty, because I think not wanting to admit how much i'd messed up just made it worse cos then no one knew so it didn't matter.

I'm back up to a rather terrifying 19.5 and Tenerife is under 4 weeks away. Bugger sums it up rather nicely I think.

On the plus side I have booked myself in to both aquafit's tomorrow and i'm hoping to get a gym in somewhere in the middle. So by tomorrow night i'll be exhausted. :)

Mum's coming to stay on Tuesday and i've already pre-warned her that we're going to have to plan our gadding around my exercise. Lets see if I manage to stick to it shall we??

TTFN

xxx

Well, That Went Well

Sense the sarcasm?

I worked my butt off in the gym yesterday, so much so I nearly passed out. Which was highly embarrassing as you can probably imagine. Still I stopped feeling sick and dizzy and got right back in there and working. I can feel it in every muscle of my body. Including some I didn't know I had...

The sarcasm is because of the 2lbs i've gained this morning. :( Not amused.

I'm going to go and find someone to moan about it too!

TTFN

xxx   

Well, It Seems To Be Going Again!

I've shifted a lb this morning. Not really doing that well for the dieting but my exercise levels must be through the roof! I had my gym induction yesterday afternoon. Stuart(sp?) is my gym dude, showing me the ropes. He's really nice and also really good at health/diet tips. A random cross between ecstatic and disappointed because he's told me that I won't be able to do a 1000 calorie diet for much longer, unless I want to start passing out regularly. He's also got me agreeing to "eat" 5 times a day. Luckily a yoghurt counts as a meal and he's going to give me a list of some of the things that are really good for me to eat as a meal. We'll see! Apparently it's all to do with raising your metabolism. Short bursts of really hard exercise help too. :(

 I got going on the treadmill, upright bike and rowing machine. No idea if i'm going to remember it all though! I'm booked in again at 10.30 this morning to learn to use the rest (sitting downy bike, cross trainer and stepper, plus some of the resistance machinery). Then i'm on my own! Scary.

Well i'm off to the gym... TTFN

xxx

I'm back, under duress!

To be honest, i'm only back on line because Mum made me promise. I've had a really, really bad few days and I was trying to avoid coming back on line until I had, at least, got back to where I was. My compromise is i'm here but not talking weight! 

Ray treated me to my full gym membership on Monday and i've made reasonable use of it. I did aquafit and a swim on Monday, pilates on wednesday and I have my gym introduction this afternoon. I am unbelievably achy from all the unaccustomed exercise. 

I'm also not getting much sleep due to over enthusiastic kittens and over vocal cat! Which I have to admit is not helping with my diet desire. Being shattered and hungry is just a bridge too far! I have however had a slimfast this morning and i'm going to make a valid effort to be good today. In fact I might even work up the enthusiasm to go do some shopping. I need a yoga mat anyway!

Hope you've all had a better weekend than me.

TTFN

xxx

Just A Quick One

Ate out last night and yet somehow managed to shift the 3lbs I put on. Thank goodness.

Now off to see my Auntie Winnie in Sheffield and deliver my Granddad to Yorkshire for a week... Beware Yorkshire!

TTFN

xxx

Well At Least When I Let Myself Down I Do It In Style...

... I've put on 3lbs. Not really suprising considering what I ate yesterday but as you can imagine i'm really disappointed with myself. I don't imagine it'll take more than a day or two to shift it but it's still annoying.

I cheated yesterday lunchtime. I had a panini when I was out in Milton Keynes with Mum. Then we called at Ikea so I had one of the delicious strawberry tarts they do. I was then ever so good and distracted myself around teatime so I didn't eat and only had a slimfast. Unfortunately my goodness didn't last and when we got back from the cinema I raided the fridge and, basically, ate dinner, at midnight, washed down with a yoghurt and meringue swirls. Of course by then I was sleepy so I went straight to bed.

Random tangent... My granddad is playing a cd of christmas carols full volume. WTF?????

All in all not a dieting success! I knew it was going to be harder to do it here. Also I can't help wondering if the fact that I feel fatter isn't making me lose a bit, or a lot, of my motivation. Where's my miracle, hey?? Surely I should be a size 10 by now??? At this point in time it would be very easy for me to throw my hands in the air and announce that I don't mind being "the fat girl"... which would be true... and that I don't want to be slimmer.... which would be a lie.

However, no giving up for me, no matter how much it might appeal. So i'm off to get a slimfast and panic quietly about the fact i'm eating out again tonight.

Until tomorrow...

xxx

Why Is It That The Thinner I Get The Fatter I Feel??

I've lost another lb today but i feel as though i've put about 10lbs on. Strange isn't it.

Maybe it's because I missed dog walking this am. Mum headed out stupidly early with Rosie and to be honest I was still snoring :). In fact I think I still would be if Rosie didn't make one hell of a racket when she gets in the car. Excitement from the ear splitting department. Mind you I am sure that Mum and I will be heading out somewhere today so i'll just have to make up for it by walking more later.

Strangely i'm actually looking forward to being home on Monday and able to go to aquafit class again! In fact when I get home it'll be time to start building up the amount of classes I do at the gym. It's all going to be fairly mental from this point on I suspect.

Just in case they read it today I want to wish Pam and Ray a very happy 9th wedding anniversary! Hope they manage to get some time to themselves.

TTFN!

xxx

Do I Win The Bright & Early Prize??

For being up and 5am and blogging by 6.30??

I should probably add that I'm not exactly up by choice. I gave up and got up as my back pain was so bad that I needed to! Pity really as I went to see Angels & Demons (which ain't half bad) last night and didn't get in until midnight. So I'm actually really quite tired. I'm also supposed to be out tonight. I sense a nap in my near future :).

I'm quite impressed though because I ate out yesterday and didn't pick the healthy option (we were at Frankie & Benny's and I LOVE their chicken parmigiana(sp?) so I cheated, badly) and haven't put on any weight. "and the award for extreme jamminess goes too..." 

I'm back to being good today though (especially as I feel a tad poorly), in fact I'm going to go and fish some turkey out of the freezer in a minute so it can be defrosting. Then i'll wait, probably impatiently, for Mum and Ray to get up before heading off on a dog walking expedition. That is of course presuming I haven't fallen asleep by then. Which is always a distinct possibility.

It's a pity that Rosie (our border collie) is quite so nuts as the sun is out and there look like there may be some fairly awesome photo opportunities about outside but if I go out I suspect she may make an awful lot of noise and no one else is actually up, or wanting to get up, just yet!

Hope you're all getting nice weather and a chance to make the most of it! :)

xxx

Good Morning Peoples!

Before I rattle on about how i'm doing i'd just like to say thank you for the support. Especially Scotty and Pam. Reading your comments helps me keep motivated and gives me extra will power every day. I suspect this would all be much harder without you!

I didn't get round to blogging at all yesterday because there was just so much going on. Ray gave me his camera, my first ever digital SLR, so I spent the entire day out taking hundreds of photo's! Some of them are even quite good :).

I wouldn't have had much to report yesterday anyway. No weight loss unfortunately. This morning however i've lost another 1lb (and been for a longish dog walk already). That's officially a whole stone gone!! Whoop whoop! To celebrate i'm going in to Oxford with Mum and i'm going to buy a nice bag for my new gadget. :D

Short blog today i'm afraid as i'm impatient and wanna go out.

TTFN

xxx

In Oxford Once Again!

Weighed in this morning and am pleased to be able to say that i'm now under the 19st mark! Only by 1lb of course but under is under! From today I only weigh 18st (and a fair few lbs but we won't worry about them) and i'm chuffed. Just kinda wish I could keep this speed of weight loss up, how awesome would that be?? I'd be 10st by the beginning of October! EVERYONE would diet if they could do that.

For now though, with an ever hopeful air, i'll take whatever I can get!!

Hope you're all feeling as positive about life as I am about weight loss...

TTFN

xxx

I'm Running Out of Clever Things To Write Here!

But even though my brain isn't working properly my body is.... I reached 19st today! Yay! Only 2lbs to go until I've lost a stone! Today is my "2 weeks on the diet" day too, so it's a nice goal to reach!

I now weigh the same as I did when I was a bridesmaid in November last year! That's really quite exciting. It means i'm on the way!

I'm off to Oxford tomorrow, all fingers and toes crossed that it doesn't mean my diet is going to de-rail! We are definitely going to be eating out one night, which is going to be super tough. I think i'll be going shopping as soon as I get there... Filling the fridge with my food! :)

They plan is to try and weigh in here and then get to Oxford without eating or drinking anything and see what the scales say there, so I know what the weight difference is between the scales. Then hopefully i'll be able to keep a really accurate track of things while i'm there!

Well i'd better go and pack...

TTFN

xxx

Today I Win The Prize For Extreme Jamminess!

I've Managed to lose a whopping 3lbs! Thanks in large part to the fact that my body really didn't appreciate the junk I put in it so I felt poorly for most of the day! Still! Whoop Whoop!! :)

I managed to get back on the diet yesterday too which I am sure helped massively. I've also discovered, randomly, that salad fills me up much faster than vegetables. So salad it is from now on! I'm still having a moan about the fact that it's almost impossible to buy frozen turkey, without it having been breaded or something else unhealthy, though. Turkey is so much better for you than chicken but I just can't afford to buy it.

Today I challenge everyone to get their exercise video's out! I'm actually going to try to get further on mine today. I've also managed to find my re-chargable batteries so the wii fit might get messed around with too!

Hope you all have a wonderful and exerciseful day! :)

xxx 

Lost and Found

As in lost 1lb and found my way...

I'm back down to 19.4 today. As you can probably imagine i'm really pleased about this but also feeling really guilty. Mainly because I only managed to get back on the slimfast for breakfast... The rest of the day really didn't go that well. I did eat healthier options rather than the old fatty, high calorie stuff I would have snacked on, but still I ate far too much and the worst thing is that I know it. Today I feel sluggish and bloated and rather ill. Which i'm hoping will pass soon because I really wanted to get out and get some exercise done.

It's half term here, I know it varies across the country, which unfortunately means that all the classes are messed up at my local gym. So no aquafit for Maris! It also means that the adult swim times are all changed around. Great for the kids i'm sure, but a bit pants for the adults. Especially those of us who only decided to have an exercise regime last week! :)

To make matters even worse on the exercise front my wii fit has decided to play up. I think it's just the battery pack but unfortunately all my rechargables, that I could have used instead, seem to have been packed somewhere clever in the move! In case you hadn't guessed i'm not even close to having finished unpacking yet.

I suspect the thing to do is go spend an hour unpacking and see if I can find batteries. I also suspect that it is highly unlikely that I will...

I spent quite a bit of yesterday re-organising and editing audio-books to put on my iPod. I read in an interview with Stephen Fry that he listens to audio-books as he walks (about 5 miles a day, crazy man) because it makes the miles go by very quickly. So, as he's my hero,  I thought i'd give it a try. Although he was listening to Crime & Punishment and i'm going for Harry Potter........

Now I just need it to be a nice enough day for me to want to go outside! Oh the joys of the British summer!

Hope you're all having a lovely day!

xxx

Can Everyone Say Oops??

I've put on 1lb! I'm not at all suprised because I ate solid food yesterday and that always was going to make me put on a bit.

I'm back on the slimfast today so it should fall off again nice and quickly.

I'll let you know.

xxx

Bank holiday monday blues

Hi all....

No weight loss today but i'm not suprised. I was a bit naughty yesterday and went out drinking with friends! I've also cheated today and actually had toast for breakfast... I have a bit of a poorly head and i needed something solid in my stomach! I'm going to have a solid food day today but be really careful to eat, not over eat! Then back on the slimfast in the morning.

Hope you're all having a lovely bank holiday!

xxx

Morning all!

I'm afraid i'm going to have to report weight gain this morning although I don't think I've actually gained any weight! Don't worry it'll all become clear...

When I weighed in this morning my scales could not decide how much I weighed, giving me the choice of 19.1, 19.2, 19.3 and 19.4! Now obviously i wanted to plump for the 19.1 (and believe me it was doubly tempting when my wii told me that was what I weighed too) and feel good about myself but it would probably have been inaccurate. I suspect that it's probably down to uneven floor in my bedroom.

So after chatting it through with Mum I decided to put my scales on the nice flat vinyl floor in the kitchen. I also decided to weigh myself clothed from this point on.

So today I weigh 19.4. But that's not a bad thing. And i'm still going to try to lose at the same rate but i'm going to "reset" my goals up 4lbs as today should have been the 19 stone goal!

It's probably also a doubly good thing as i'm going to try to drastically increase my water in take so that'll change it too!

Hope you're all having an awesome bank holiday weekend so far!

xxx

Fancy Dress Day Today!!

And i'm really rather scared! I'm going as Princess Fiona from Shrek (the ogre version)! I'm guessing it could be fun trying to get my face that green and still look reasonably pretty! :)

Good news on the weight loss thing... I lost 2lbs this morning so i'm only 1lb behind my "guidelines" now which is a bit more reassuring! I was worried not because I hadn't lost anything but because I thought if my weight loss had slowed down already when I was kinda counting on still losing quickly for a couple of weeks. It just would have put me SO far behind! Behind is fine but that far behind would have been BAD! :)

I have given myself a massive pat on the back today cos i've not only done a whole week on the strict diet now but i've also lost the first half stone! Whoop whoop!!

Until tomorrow!

xxx

No Weight Loss Again...

..But nothing I can do about it so there's no point stressing. Although it is obviously a bit annoying. I really don't want my weight loss to have slowed down to 1lb every other day already as that would mean it's going to take an awful lot longer to get to where I want my weight to be. Probably as much as two months longer for the first big goal which puts me at around 14stone for new year instead of November. And that would suck!

I did eat out yesterday, but I had a Subway, which is not a bad choice, and I had ham, one of the healthiest options, with no cheese! Plus I missed one of my two slimfasts out so in theory I was still under 1,000kcals.

 It almost makes me tempted to go buy the new nutritional supplement that's out in boots... It's a slimming pill but it doesn't make you lose weight on it's own, just reckons that it can help you lose an extra 1lb to every two that you lose yourself. It'd be cheating in a way i know but I don't want this diet to have to be this strict forever so it's be nice to shift it in a slightly shorter time. In fact it might even get me back on schedule! Lol.

Considered heading off to another class at the gym today but the classes don't look that great. There's an adults swim at lunchtime though so maybe i'll give that a go. Or I might just do some wii fitting!

Hope you all have a lovely POETS day.

xxx

TheQuickestBlogInTheWorldEver!

Morning!

Have lost 1lb again so i'm now down to 19.4. Have to admit that I was hoping against all hope that i'd have shifted 2lbs today to make up for yesterday. Also because that would mean i'd lost half a stone today. But never mind, tomorrow will have to do! :)

This is having to be a very quick blog today as i'm off to deep water aquafit in a moment and then heading straight off to the city to see my friend and try on bridesmaid shoes! How exciting!

BYEEEE!!

xxx

Not Happy :(

Today is the first day with no weight loss. Always a tough one. I know that technically you shouldn't weigh yourself everyday but it's a really good way to keep up your enthusiasm... Unfortunately it's also a really bad way! Lol.

I suspect the reason for the lack of a result today is because I ate ridiculously late last night. Food is getting kinda pushed to the bottom of my priority list. Which is almost as bad as it being at the top. I'm also blaming lack of sleep as your body can't process everything as efficiently if you don't get the right amount to sleep. So 3 "meals" at the right time of day for me today and a nap if I can fit one in!

 Also a desperate attempt not to give in and eat cake as "I haven't lost anything anyway"!

TTFN

xxx

What A Lovely Tuesday!

I'm really chuffed this morning. I survived aquafit last night (good support in your swimming costume definitely recommended for well endowed ladies, my rather expensive fitted tankini I was wearing under my swimsuit paid for itself last night by preventing any disasters) and really enjoyed it. Some how I feel remarkably energized this morning. Yay! I'm actually thinking about giving the deep water one on Thursday a go too. Although that will all depend on the success of essay writing. :(

Anyway... I'm 1lb lighter again! Whoop whoop! So still well on track. It's getting easier too! One thing that sort helped today was being able to put my jeans in the tumble drier and being able to HOPE that they'd shrink... Cos otherwise i'm looking at having to take them in! Lol. You wouldn't think 5lbs could make that much of a difference, would you?

I'm now off to attempt bouncing round (testing my new sports bra) while reading Henry V! Hmmm. Wish me luck! :)

xxx

Morning!

Just a quick one as i'm on my way outta the door to go buy a sports bra in anticipation of all the exercise i'm intending to do! Was supposed to be at my first aqua fit this morning but I chickened out. I'm going to get a decent swimming costume while i'm out too... get a bit more confidence... and then go to aqua fit tonight! My legs are shaved and everything!!

I've lost another pound today, which is excellent as I really do need to lose a lb a day for the first couple of weeks. That'd get me nicely on the way for my hols.

Have been turning over the idea of putting progress photo's on here... All fully clothed of course. No way i'm showing my fat on the intertubes!

Hope everyone's having a good day.

xxx 

Long Term Diet Plan

So... I've just sat down with my diary and worked out some potential weight loss goals. I'm not going to hate myself if I don't achieve them but I need something to help keep me motivated.

I realised today that in September last year I was thinking that I'd have reached my 14st initial target by March-ish! That in turn meant I may even have got to about 12st by my holiday in July. Either way i'd be mostly there by now. Instead I weigh the same now as I did a week into my diet last September. Pants isn't it!

So i've put my targets in writing (in pencil in my diary :) ). At least that way i can look at it and say... "only another 3 weeks and i've reached another goal..." etc

So...

Today I weigh 19st 7lbs

24/05   I'm aiming for 19st

31/05   18.7

7/06     18st and at this point i'm only a year away from being 10st,                my ultimate goal, if I chose to lose that much.

             I'm planning the weight loss from this point by giving myself              a week longer every time to lose a stone.

28/06   17st

26/07   16st

30/08   15st

11/10   14st

29/11   13st

24/01   12st

28/03   11st

6/06     10st

So 12 months and 3 weeks and i'm there.

If only i'd started 12 months ago! LOL!!

But still, every one of these "goals" I reach is an awesome achievement and I promise to be suitably proud of myself and not disappointed if one doesn't go quite to plan! I'm also reserving the right to stop losing weight on the 11/10 if I've reached the target feel 14st is enough weight loss and then at every "goal" from that point onwards!!

Fingers crossed...

xxx

Success!!

Yesterday was a very strange day. I didn't manage to be nearly as good as i wanted to be. I did however manage to only have about 1,000 kcals, which is, according to diet guru's (in the days when you just watched what you ate) and backed up by my Mum, the way to lose weight effectively. It's also always been my diet of choice. Although i tend to take different angles on it depending on what's going on at the time. So technically i'm on the slim-fast diet, which is 

Breakfast - Slim-fast

11sies - 100kcal snack

Lunch - Slim-fast

3sies - 100kcal snack

Dinner - 600 kcal well balanced meal

Evening - 100 kcal snack.

So all in all, with a slim-fast having a calorie content of just over 200, it's sort of a 1300 kcal diet.

My slim-fast plan is to eat between 1,000 and 1,300 a day, staying closer to the 1,000 as much of the time as is humanly possible, and try to keep my fat intake as low as possible. I'm not actually going to count fat but just be aware of it and choose fat free where possible. Yesterday I was almost spot on the 1,000, but with a soup instead of a slim-fast.

It does however appear to be working as today i am a whopping 2lbs lighter!

So now the struggle will be avoiding eating on a day when all I have to do is sit and study. Fingers crossed hey??

A good step towards the new slimmer me. Only 5 1/2 stone to go until my "get to this weight and see how I feel and whether I want to lose anymore" point! Theoretically and assuming that the weight loss will slow down dramatically it's not impossible to do that in 5 to 6 months (figure I can probably shift a stone in the first fortnight). One of my best mates is getting married in 5 1/2 months time so I think that should be my goal. I've only got to watch what I eat this carefully until her wedding day and then I can have a bit of wedding cake! And a much smaller bridesmaids dress! LOL

In a hopeful mood I say TTFN!

xxx 

Off To Hear Mr Butcher Sing...

In a minute. Although mainly he's going to be acting... :)

I lost a lb today! Whoop whoop!

Not bad considering i had a chicken kebab last night... although I left the pitta bread and didn't have any mayo. So really it was chicken and veg. Still felt highly decadent though!

Have decided to start a second blog, more for my own use than anyone else's and use it as a food diary. An honest one too!! I think I need something to help me put together what i'm eating when I do well and of course the flip side of that... what really is going to go straight to my hips! :)

I would incorporate it into this one but I don't want to bore any readers to tears!

I will however add a link to it to this blog (as soon as i've worked out how) and trhen if you chose to be bored it's at your own peril!

TTFN

xxx

Back On Line & Back On The Wagon...

It's Friday the 15th and it's all go in the McCann household. Sort of...

I called Mum last night because I was having a pizza ordering crisis... Do I?? Don't I?? Do I???

Mum, in a sensible Mum kinda way, pointed out that our holiday is scarily close now and that she was hoping to go with the slimmer version of me (so was I!). So she tricked me into starting the diet properly again today by telling me that I could have pizza last night if I promised I would be good from today onwards! :)

The disappointing part is that the pizza wasn't all that good and I only managed to eat half of it. I shoulda had a chicken kebab! :( Bad judgement call there methinks.

So this morning, will power dusted off and ready to go, I got up, got weighed and embarked on an exciting slim-fast diet. The sort of good news is that despite my general uselessness over the past few weeks I have managed to lose a whole pound since I started this blog... At this rate i'll be slim by 2020! Go me! I'm hoping, however, to do it a little quicker than that.

It's 8 weeks today until we'll be getting on a plane so if I could lose 2 stone that would be brilliant. Even more would be even better obviously but I don't think I'm that jammy... Not when it comes to weight loss anyway!

My first challenge is that I slipped up at lunchtime and ate some bread... therefore dinner is now a slim-fast. Doesn't sound too bad, does it? However with evenings being my "snack" time, I normally only manage not to eat because i'm full from dinner. Therefore tonight is a real test for me.

I'll let you know how I got on when I blog tomorrow. There's no stopping me now... No noisy neighbours in Wymondham and i've got my interwebs back! Whoop whoop!

As of Monday i'm also enrolling at the local gym. First for swimming only then building up to classes and gym sessions. I suspect that initially i'll spend most of my time pruning in the jacuzzi...

Anyway...

Til I blog again...

xxx

A Short Stay In Oxfordshire

I'm house sitting for my parents at the moment. Unfortunately instead of this working wonders for my diet it seems to be doing the opposite.  At least partly due to a friend who, when i turned down a Dominoes pizza as i needed something healthy, replied get a vegetable one. D'oh! It's difficult to tell how the weight is going as i'm a totally different weight on the scales here. I'm lighter in fact! Which is great for my self esteem but i fear lacking in accuracy. Last time i weighed in at home i was 19.10 so i've just got my fingers crossed that when i get home even if i'm not lighter i will at least not be heavier! 

Hopefully my internet there should be going soon too! Yay!

TTFN x

Moving home today...

and have packed the scales! So i have no idea what's going on with my weight! Also i'm going to lose my internet tonight so i may not be about for a while. But i'll leave in the hope that when my internet is up and running at the new house i'll have some positive weight loss to report! :) xxx

The Shortest Blog Ever

Got flu, moving house Thursday or Friday. Plus side... No appetite. May actually lose some weight. :)

It's 4 O'clock In The Morning And It's Starting To Get Light

... in the immortal words of Beverly Craven. Of course it's not 4am, it's 2.30, and the only light is from the street light and the computer screen. The things is about quoting immortal lyrics that it's tricky to be in the exact same situation.

It's  obviously time for my new song... it's 2.30 in the morning and it's not starting to get light and I wish i'd lit up a cigarette and drunk a bottle of wine because if I had I probably wouldn't care about the fact that it's 2.30 in the morning (breathe) and i'm still awake and writing the longest sentence in the history of the world ever! The End.

Instant chart topper dontcha think??

Well on a slightly less manic note the packing seems to be going relatively well although i have absolutely no clue where all this stuff came from. Even less of a clue where it's all going. Gulp.

My (very lovely and exceedingly slim) friend told me today that the weight gain won't be from all the junk we've been eating but because we'll have put on muscle with all the hard work. Some friends really are the best aren't they! Plus I have received a strange e-mail about badgers from another friend, which can't be bad. So YAY for today.

Be warned though people of Norfolk... Maris will be out and about tomorrow with a sleep deficit and feeling stressed...

:) xxx

Here We Go Again!

Well it's nothing I didn't expect but i'm disappointed with myself anyway.

I've gained 2 lbs. I'm going to try and be a bit better about what i eat while i'm going through the move and then try to "lose" my bad eating habits in between houses! Here's hoping!! :)

One Week To Go! Gulp!

Next time I decide I want to move, tell me NO!

It's 00.30, i've been up since 07.30 and yet I just can't seem to relax enough to sleep. I have my Mum and one of my closest friends here (and sleeping peacefully) to help me pack and sort. I've promised myself i'm not going to take all this "stuff" with me.

My diet is going disasterously. Although I have managed to be good about breakfast every day. Which is something at least. Also i'm getting an awful lot more exercise with all the moving, carrying and packing of boxes. 

I hate moving!

I haven't even managed to weigh in this week, although i suspect that may be a good thing!

Will try to remember to do it in the morning and will attempt to allocate time to apologising about my weight gain on here on the afternoon!

:) xxx

Stress, Stress, Stress!

Aarrrgggghhhhhh!

I'm moving house, again!

This'll be the 3rd time in a year!

Probably moving in about 10 days so it's manic! Will try and blog once i've packed a bit more... Gulp. :)

The Truth, The Whole Truth & Nothing But The Truth

  Made the possibly rational decision that if i'm going to do this I need to be honest with myself. Therefore I need to be honest on here.

  Today has SUCKED!!

  I'm going to have a mixture of a waffle and a rant now, just to warn you.

  It all started going wrong about 11.30 last night. My downstairs neighbours had their bicycle stolen. Doesn't sound like the end of the world I know but I live in the last block of 4 flats at the very end of a quiet cul-de-sac that is 90% inhabited by old people. We're also the last road on the way out of Diss on a quiet back road that only leads to tiny villages. I suppose my point here is that it's not the kind of place you stumble across by accident. So when my intercom buzzed at half eleven last night I was slightly freaked out in the first place. Then when I heard what had happened even more so. I tried to help as much as I could as my downstairs neighbours are Polish and don't speak the best English. Plus they thought the number for the police was 997 (ambulance gets 998 and fire brigade 999). Turns out that they suspect the new people who moved into our block just a week ago as they've been here over a year and had no problems at all until now. Our new tennants are a not-far-off-being-teenage couple with 2 kids. Must add that the adults are 2 of the biggest chavs i've ever met! Don't know if it's relevant but give chav credit where it's due. Personally I doubt it was them, own doorstep - literally - and all that, but I wouldn't be at all suprised to find it was an aquaintence!

  So here I am, single girl (not that i'm a fraidy cat specifically) who spends at least a third of her time away from home and knows exactly what people who steal bikes can be like, on account of the fact that i've dated a few of them and known even more. One of them held a knife to my throat.

  Had just managed to wind down and started to drift off at about 2.30 this morning when the police turned up to speak to the downstairs neighbours about the missing bike. As they live right underneath me I can hear almost everything that goes on so their intercom woke me up with one hell of a jump. Great, now I have to unwind again! Normally I'd do this (as I do with any irritating noise) by sticking my ipod in. Only now, because i'm stressed, I can't help thinking that then I might not hear something important! Sleep came slowly last night.

  

Next thing I know it's 7am and the child next door is having a tantrum on the landing. The man of the house (i'd say dad but I don't think that would be accurate) is, for want of a better way to describe it, having a tantrum right back at her! I don't know if you have any experience of flat landings so i'll share a little fact about mine with you. Everything that happens on my landing sounds like it's happening through a megaphone. The accoustics are astonishing! If I sang out there full blast i'm firmly convinced they'd here me at Diss mere (a 10 minute walk away)! So imagine getting woken up by a strange child having a tantrum in your ear and that was pretty much my wake up call. 

  By 8 the chavs were doing DIY. Yay. Or maybe just knocking down walls... Humph.

  Despite all this I managed to get up and exercise. I also had my designated breakfast.

  However during the day my mood has got worse and worse. I suspect that at least partly because i'm having a mood shift with my bipolar anyway. I've felt myself struggling more over the last few days. Trying to have conversations and just not staying with it. But that's part of being me. The external issues though are not something I can cope with as well.

  My refuge?? As always food. I feel sick, partly with (hopefully irrational) worry and partly because i've eaten the equivalent today of what i'd eat in a week of dieting. So feel free to tell me to pull myself together, especially if you know of somewhere I can live where I never have to come in to contact with other people. Unless of course I choose to!

 

  Roll on March 2010.

  From positive to disheartened in one easy lesson.

  And so to bed.

The Day Number Two Writings About The Day Number One

  Well after some technical difficulties (at least partially involving the need to activate brain before attempting... well anything you need a brain for) we seem to be up and running! I have a whole one follower! Yay me! :)

  BTW, for those unfamiliar with blogs... the new one is always at the top so if you're reading this one first... STOP and scroll down and start with the second one which is actually the first!

  On the exercise front yesterday was good. One whole hour of step aerobics, and blimey don't my legs know it this morning. Everything else went fairly badly though and after having a good day (my easter egg from Mum remained hidden) I ended up eating chocolate (bye bye easter me to you bear (thanks Mum)) just before I went to bed which we all know is the worst thing in the world to do!

  However although I messed up yesterday and had a fairly inauspicious start to this miracle diet, i'm still here! I weigh exactly the same today as i did yesterday, which is better than having gained anything, and I started this morning, despite having very little sleep, with 30 minutes of step and a slim-fast! Yay me!

  So slip up behind me I face today tired, achy and positive!

:) xxx

Chapter the First

So...

  Sat here on Easter Sunday 2009 (of all days) I realised that despite the fact i've been "dieting" since the middle of September last year I am a measly 7lbs lighter now than I was then. Then truffling round on Facebook and found a friends link to her "blog myself thin". Decided swiftly to jump on the band wagon and here I am.

  I'm 28 years old, 29 in July, single (no huge suprise there) and weigh in at 19st 8lbs. I'm never going to be thin... I like food too much... and to be honest i'm not totally sure that I want to be! I would however like to be slimmer, fitter, healthier and to regain my old confidence. I used to walk into a room and wait for everyone to look at me (must add that i know most of the guys were looking at my cleavage). Now I sidle in quietly, self confidence left at the door, slide along a wall and find a corner to hide in. Scary thing is i've convinced myself that this isn't a problem.

  My problem is that I always have an excuse! I know that a lot of people out there are the same but in all seriousness i've turned it into an art form! "I'm not well, chocolate will make me better" "I'm depressed, i'll treat myself" "I'm happy, we'll celebrate with food"! My latest is... "I'm a bridesmaid in November this year and I only need to be a stone lighter to make my dress look fabulous. So I don't wanna lose too much weight or it won't fit." Let's face facts though. I'm a curvy girl and always have been so my boobs will probably still fill the dress no matter how much weight I lose. If they don't there are these things called seamstresses I believe. Think they alter dresses so they fit... and i'd be able to get a good strapless bra that actually fits :) The possibilities for my excuses really are endless. So, no more excuses. The fact is that happy or sad, ill or well, mourning or celebrating i'm still fat and will continue to be so, unless I do something about it.

  For the moment at least my goal is 15st. That's what I weighed when I met the last guy who made my knees go weak. If I could achieve that in time to go shopping for some new clothes to wear on my holiday with my wonderful Mum that would be awesome. Thing is I need, quite frankly, repeated kicks up the backside to help me. My friends are wonderful at this but I can't make them watch me 24/7! Mum and I fly out on the 10th of July so time's running out!

  I'm going to try and put on here, consisely most of the time, my weight (and possibly BMI), whether i've been good or bad and my level of exercise. What i'm asking anyone I can convince to follow me is if you think i'm doing well, tell me! If you think i'm doing badly, tell me! LOL. Most of all though i'm asking you to call me out on my BS! Tell me if i make anything that sounds even remotely like an excuse and be my heroes!

  Last thought of the blog... If I cut out all the rubbish and do this properly i'm probably going to lose weight quite fast initially and the last thing I need is anyone who thinks that they're a "diet expert" telling me i'm losing weight too fast. I know if I lose more than a couple of pounds a week it's supposed to be bad for me. My question in return is... when you're classed as morbidly obese does that really matter? I know that losing weight too quickly can lead to a weight rebound. I know that I could not be getting enough of what my body needs to sustain itself. I know I've got to come to terms with the fact that i'm probably going to end up with unsightly leftover skin. But the ultimate truth is that anything I do half-heartedly I fail at. So, vitamin tablets and bio oil in my hands i'm gonna take a run up and.....

 TO BE CONTINUED... :)